Before we begin breathe, pray…

New here? See previous chapters first. And the first Shard too.

We’re about to end Shard 2… we’re steps closer to our goal.

Okiee… ready… set go.

Blessed; 20 years old.

He moved to where his mother sat - discreetly, quietly. Her room was empty... cold even. But it was warm outside.

He reached her.

She looked up and visibly winced.

Blessed knelt. "Mother... please, forgive me. I thought you would be happy. I just wanted you to be happy." He swallowed, tears pooling. "I..."

"Leave Blessed." She said. "Leave."

"Mother..."

She looked him dead in the eye. "You are your father's son. You killed him. And you have become him." She exhaled. "What do you want me to do?"

Blessed did not answer. He just stood.

He buried her words deep down. Where he buried everything. He would go back to school. He would suppress all he felt. He would.

Blessed; Present day.

"You're glowing Valery." He said.

She laughed - a full loud laugh. Something Valery Amos never did. But this woman was not that Valery Amos. This woman... he did not know her.

"Everything is going well then?"

"Yes." She answered, grinning. "Perfectly."

From the other end of the room, Genevieve made a heart shape with her hands, watching him. She pouted like she was hurt... making a pained expression, only to fall over, holding back laughter.

Blessed gulped. He really was making a mess of his life.

They ended his call. Then he walked to the other woman. The wound – the one that Valery Amos had torn open was bleeding already. He needed... a suppressant.

Blessed winced as he sat beside her, her limbs inching closer. But that was the truth wasn’t it? He was... using her. Just like she was using him.

How did it get this bad? How did they get here?

Blessed sighed as her she trailed his face with kisses, his mind elsewhere.

He had loved his mother. Had done the unthinkable for her. She had hated him. Had cursed him even. He had drowned her out with work.

He had loved Valery – had? What a lie - but Valery had not known what love was. And when she did, she fell in love... with Life. Not her own life... but the Life. He was happy for her. But he was human... It hurt. It really did.

Was he not worth loving? Was he not enough? Did he not matter?

The thoughts spiralled, his head pounding with them. He growled, lifting the other woman up as she chuckled.

He marched to his bed. Not because he wanted to. But because he needed to.

He was always loving... and always needing to drown. Some days it was work. Other days it was alcohol. Most days – it was her.

It was a mess. No human should be a drug. But... he needed something. So he took it.

Maybe someday things would change. Maybe.

Shard 2 - Numb - done.

We’re going to go over ‘Numb’ soon. But let’s… let’s take a breath first. Huh?

So many wounds. So much pain. And Blessed just… buries it. Keeps it down below. That’s what many people do. I do it. I do it a lot.

Many of us, we exist like Valery, we numb like Blessed, we… do many things that are not really living.

John 3:16.

Eternal life. It is beyond what we have known.

You know you might think, ‘oh she has this figured out, that’s why she’s writing it…’

That’s the farthest thing from the truth. I’d say I’m worse than Blessed… worse than Valery. I think I’m more like our 5th Character - Benson. You’ll meet him soon enough.

Then why am I writing this? To record the real moments… the truth - my truth as I walk this journey.

I believe that Jesus Christ has given me eternal Life. I want that Life in full. And the Shards story, it is a journey… of discovery, of honesty, of truth… and when we reach the destination, we can start the next course. Stronger. Better. Wiser. Alive.

Those this make sense? I doubt it. But… I pray it eventually does.

Soon, we’ll go to Shard 3 - Neither. I can’t wait for you to meet Governor Maximus Kayin.

He’s… nah, we’ll meet him together.

Before we part…

Study and Prayer Prompt:

John 3: 16.

Can we study this? Let’s pray and study this… for a deeper revelation. For a push… a Word.

Blessed is a believer. Valery is a believer. But this is not the Life Jesus gives… right?

You’ve read it yourself… is this eternal life? Is this it?

Let us seek… what exactly is this Life? What is the whole of it?

If you’re new here, then welcome.

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Do you believe in the Christ? So do I. But believing is more than just a word. It is a whole reality. And Jesus died so we could access that.

We are the Gospel. I want to believe that. I want to believe that I am the evidential of the Christ. But it starts with embracing the reality of believing. That’s why we’re here… to seek. To knock. To ask.

That’s it.

Alright, bye❤️

Thank you for reading. You are loved❤️

Hey❤️

So once again, we’re here.

If you are new here… see this.

Because we believe that stories are a means for fellowship with our Lover… you’re encouraged to take a deep breath.

Then… pray. Your own words.

Yes…

Great… now, this series is focused on John 3: 16.

Shard 1 - Nothing… starts here.

Catch up on Part 1 through to 3 before you start this.

Okay? Ready… set… go.

Blessed; 15 years old.

Blessed stood over another bleeding body.

He had learnt to heal. To stitch. To fix. But for once... he would not.

He looked to his mother. She still sat on the ground, half of her gown torn. She seemed... shocked. Like she did not believe she had done it.

Blessed did not share her shock. He watched his father bleed. Not a bad injury. He would live. But... maybe he should... not.

Blessed knelt.

He reached for his first aid box. But this time he did not move for bandages... he moved for... a scissors.

He looked up at his mother, held her gaze... then... brought her truest wish to life.

Blessed; Present day.

"Mother." Blessed said as he stepped into their home, Genevieve on his arm.

"Blessed." She said in response. She hugged him. Brief. Impersonal. Then faced Genevieve. She smiled at her - a smile that was warmer than the hug she had given her son.

Around him, his siblings talked. They welcomed Genevieve. They sat for dinner. The room was not rowdy; noise did not sit in their kind of luxury – but it was lived in.

Loved ones that had not seen each other in ages conversed with ease. The children’s voices carried through from the adjourning room.

It was warm.... rich, almost believable in its deceit.

Blessed watched his mother. Just as he always did.

Genevieve watched him.

But he was elsewhere. His mind turning. He remembered what Valery had said and he swallowed. By her words, there was no one... no one in the room filled with close to 35 people that was living.

Quick one… this… hmmm… a room filled with 35 people… none are living. We’ve been buildimg towards this. We’ve been hinting at it… now in this room, we see Blessed noting it in real time. What do you feel? What do you think?

Leave a comment

He reached for his wine glass, downing it at once.

His mother met his gaze - eyes cold, as always. In her eyes lay the truth. The truth that every room since that fateful night, tried to hide with the false warmth.

He winced. Those eyes... the last time he had seen them animated was 26 years ago. They had been animated... but with fear, terror, heart break. And she had proceeded to bury it, manufacturing a cover that seemed to soothe her, until she looked... him.

He remembered, looking at her, how she had screamed after he'd committed sin for her. How she'd backed away from him. How she'd avoided him for a whole month before sending him off to boarding school. How she had never said anything about that day, besides a whispered, "Hands that so easily take life should not hold life in its hands." On his graduation day.

He knew she hated him. Because of what he had done for her. Because of who he had become for her. His family did not know what happened, but her silence crafted a story that they’d all accepted.

It hurt – no, it burned. Because even Benedict... even he had looked away like he did not know the truth. Like they did not know.

Blessed tried... he tried to press down the tsunami within. It was no use.

He stood the moment Genevieve cleared her plate, his body stiff in ways that could not be undone.

He said his goodbyes, barely acknowledging their responses. His mother did not bother. He noticed – he always noticed.

He left before the hurt forced him to act.

They were in the car, on their way back, the streets passing like time and space had decided to show mercy where his lived ones would not.

Genevieve’s voice cut through. "I was wrong."

"What?" He asked, only then glancing at her.

"Your love for your mother is why you are doing this." She said.

He flexed his jaw. "And..."

"But it's not just that." She looked to him, eyes no longer mocking... almost pained. "There's also... guilt."

He kissed his teeth, his hands flexing on the wheel as he pressed down on the accelerator. "And what would I be guilty about?" The words came out sharp... too sharp to be innocent. He knew it. So did she.

She shook her head, looking away from him then. "Something you did because of love. But something she hates you for."

Blessed swallowed. He said nothing. There was nothing to be said. Nothing at all. After all what could a man say when the woman he did not love saw right through him?

Hihi again.

Soooo… 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭… poor Blessed… these people just want to scar me permanently.

How are you though - after reading this? Come… let’s cry together.

Leave a comment

Now… let’s dry our tears.

---

Before we go…

Intercession Prompt:

Let’s raise our voice up for children everywhere, who have been scarred and are only now learning yo be kids.

For victims of domestic violence, rape, kidnapping. Let’s pray for healing and deliverance… for them.

For the ones who were not abused but who grew up in abusive homes. Let’s pray for them.

For the adults who have grown with wounds so deep… let’s pray for them.

For the ones still trapped in places like this… we call for the light of God.

Pray as the Spirit in you leads. For as long as you can.

…

…

…

Pray for you… your eyes will be opened to the wounds you keep buried and that you will receive the healing our Father promises.

Pray for your loved ones… pray for the wounds you may have caused without knowing… and the ones you know about that have not healed.

Pray… let the Spirit lead.

…

…

…

Finally, thank God… for healing, for His presence… for Him.

In Jesus name. Amen.

You see, this place, we have letters and stories but they are meant to connect us to to Him… so yes, you can expect intercession prompts, studies and more, with the story.

If that’s something you’ll appreciate, you can join the family.

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Before you begin… this space, it is for fellowship… we have a specific goal… even with out stories. See the post on Introductions. Here.

Say a prayer… pause, breathe.

“Holy Spirit… I’m here.”

We believe these stories aren’t just pasttimes, but actual means for fellowship, all aimed at one goal - LIFE.

Want to join in? Then subscribe to receive our daily letters, stories and more… all focused on John 3:16.

The series starts with Book 1 - Nothing. Start here.

Shard 2 - NUMB.

Part 3.

Blessed walked to Valery's office and knocked. He had put this on hold long enough.

"Come in." He heard her say.

Entering, he heard an audio play. But it paused as he stepped forward.

"Blessed." She said, a small smile on her lips. Was it his imagination or did that smile seem... warmer?

"Valery." He took a seat. Did not ask first, because they never did that. "I saw you last week."

She nodded. "And I you."

"You were with Nancy Ebuka's husband." He said.

Leaning back, she exhaled. "You're not asking."

"I'm not." Blessed sighed. "Why?"

She did too. "Are you asking as my friend, colleague or the man who pays me?"

Blessed blinked. That was... new. Valery was not emotional. Ever. He cleared his throat. "I'm all of those things." He paused. "But I love you."

He said nothing more. Once upon a time, those words had cost him to say and left her blank. But this time, it cost nothing because there was nothing left to lose. And she was not... blank.

"I had questions." She said. "About life, faith... love."

Blessed blinked. Life. Faith. Love. Life... faith... love. Life? Faith? Love?

The questions swirled but he did not ask. "Okay." He said instead.

"Yes." She replied.

"Did he answer?" He asked, oddly curious.

She laughed then. Closing her eyes, she said, "Yes."

Blessed wanted to push. Wanted to ask. But he knew her. Slightly changed or not, he knew her.

He stood like he did not have a million and one questions. "That's all." He had reached the door. He was already leaving.

But she drew him back... her voice a siren’s call. "A life well lived is a life worth living." She inhaled then, a sharp shaky intake.

He turned to her, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"A life worth living is a life well lived." She stood too, walking up to him. She met him where he still stood, her eyes... so vulnerable and open, his own heart hammered.

They stood inches apart.

"I never realized that." She said, the words coming out as barely audible whispers – like the realization had come at a cost she could not even say.

"You never realized a life worth living is a life well lived?" He asked back.

"Yes." She whispered, her eyes glossing. "I never realized that." She stepped forward, as if desperate for his closeness. But that could not be. It could not. Right?

"What if we died right now?” She asked, pulling him back to her. “Would you say you had lived well Blessed?"

Blessed swallowed. Would I? He didn’t have the answer to that... he couldn’t even start to think of the true answer. But he looked at Valery. She needed something... he would give her that something. "Yes."

She smiled, a tear dropping as she shook her head, knowing just as he did that he had lied. "No."

They said nothing else. Because they both knew - their answer was no.

Taking his hand – he froze instantly – she continued, voice pleading as though desperate for an answer he wasn’t sure he had. "What would you do? What... would make your life a life lived well?"

Blessed sighed. "Valery these questions."

She chuckled. A dry sound, just as she let his hand go. She stepped back, turning away from him. G

She stood there a while, musing... for what seemed like ages. Before finally facing him again.

Her eyed burned now. A firm determination in them that made him hold his breath.

"I'm quitting." She said.

Blessed blinked.

"Or not..." She added. "I want to go home. And I... would like to work there. But not as I did here. I would like more free time. I would like to know my nieces and nephews. I would like to..." She turned away, laughing again. "I would like... to live."

She picked her phone from the desk. "I was listening to my audio Bible." She faced him again. "When you came in." She smiled, tears falling freely. "I've had this app for... 6 years maybe? Been a believer for 10 years now. And I never realized that this..." She waves the phone. "Is Life."

She laughed... again. "And If I had died, I would have gone to heaven because I believed and accepted Jesus, but I would have never known Him. Because He is Life. I thought hell was why we have churches. But we have churches because of Zion. So we can know what Zion is like. So we can live like we will in Zion."

She laughed again. "I didn't know all this until last week. In that restaurant." She sobbed, her voice cracking. "Until... a young woman died, but died at peace, because she had lived." She looks to him. "I want to live."

Blessed... did nothing.

“I told myself that it couldn’t be true – I told myself that there was no way I had gone 23 years and never really lived... but you just confirmed it.” She shook her head, holding his gaze then. “We are achievers. We are wealthy. We have so much... but we are not living. And... I want to live.”

Blessed knew... with finality that she was serious. He sensed it... felt it... heard it.

"I'm leaving. Not next month. Not in a week. I won't do it if I wait. I'll rationalize. I'll try to be okay again." Valery paused. Walking right to him, she took his hands – it was still strange. "But I've found something I didn't even know I was looking for. And I want to chase it... I want to chase the Life."

Blessed nodded - once. He pulled her to himself, and whispered, "Chase Him." He did not understand. But he had known Valery for years. He knew she had found something. Something different. And... he would not stop her. Not when he knew she was right.

"Go." He said. "Go."

She stepped out of his arms, face still wet.

Valery Amos did things efficiently and effectively. But that day, she did what she needed to - but not efficiently... not even planned out. There were no flights for Nigeria. She had not packed. She had not taken a one month leave. She was not prepared. But she was leaving.

She kissed Blessed on the cheek – another first - looking around like her own legacy was suddenly too large.

"Take my private Jet." She looked up at him. "I'll ship your things."

Valery nodded. "Thank you."

“No.” Blessed shook his head. "Thank you." For everything.

He took her hand, leading her to the door. "Now go."

She did not wait. She did not. Valery Amos walked away... to chase Life.

Blessed watched her. He did not know how to name what he felt. Maybe it was hope. Maybe it was shock. Maybe it was pride.

But he knew it would soon fade. He was not Valery. He had not found... this something. He would release her because he longed for what she had. But he... he was not yet free.

"God..." He said nothing else. The silence anchored him; the only steady thing in his world, it filled the space where she had been... where everything still was.

Hihi…

Awwn… Valery… I’m happy for her. And Blessed… well, I have faith that his time is coming.

Valery was… Nothing. We read it. We saw it. We examined it. Now… she is not. Something has shifted. She is not perfect. But she is seeking. And that’s the start isn’t it?

To get the full picture… you’ll need to read Shard 1- Nothing, if you haven’t already.

But… I’ll comment on this now.

Nothing is having everything… but holding nothing.

Numb is keeping things that hurt so bad… things you should have let go… it is not holding them, it is keeping them down below, suppressed, in a way that makes you aware and trapped by what was… yet not healing.

That is Shard 2.

Each Shard reflects a state of being… and the Shard series - it is a journey to seeing all these states of being, identifiying which one we are and letting the Spirit of Life find us.

That is our goal… God help us, we will achieve it. In Jesus name - Amen.

Thanks for reading… God loves you. And so do I❤️

Before you start…

This story is a weekday short story series… focused on JOHN 3: 16, just like our daily letters - ‘To the Lord’s Beloved.’

We believe stories are means for fellowship too… so before you start, say an honest prayer.

Then let’s continue.

New here? See this to get caught up.

The series starts with Shard 1 - Nothing… read here.

Shard 2 - NUMB.

Part 2.

Blessed; 13 years old.

Blessed watched the woman in front of him the way he watched things that both fascinated and terrified him.

Lying on the floor before him, she looked a mess. A worse mess than usual; Swollen eye. Wounds on her body. Blood red irises.

He drew the first aid kit closer and worked like he always did.

They could not get a medic. So he would do.

He was done. The wounds were stitched. Bandages in place.

YouTube videos had taught him what he had not known. And with the number of times he had to stitch his mother up in a week, he was becoming good at it.

He started to rise. But he noticed blood.

Where is the wound? "Are you injured anywhere else?" He asked. His own voice a cold thing. He could not cry. Could not worry. She would get angry. What she needed from him was not pity, or weakness. It was efficiency.

"The... ba..by." She croaked.

He froze. Baby?

Blessed lifted the black silk nightwear. There was no wound. Not externally. The blood was proof of death. Whatever child had been in her womb was gone.

Blessed; Present day.

Blessed roused slowly, the sheets knotting as he did. Even before he glanced to his side, he knew she would be there.

He stood, picking his robe from the floor.

He felt her eyes on him as he moved. He knew she was awake now, but did not turn. If he did, Genevieve would track his mannerisms. She would dissect the look in his eyes, the dilation of his pupils.

Even then, he knew his heavy breaths were laboured. Funny - he did not have nightmares. He just... remembered. And that was worse.

"It's Sunday. Come back to bed." She drawled, her voice deceivingly sweet.

He did not answer immediately.

"Blessed." She called again, in that tone of hers.

"Is your father not a Deacon?" He asked back, running a hand over his face as he did.

All things considered, her company was not bad. But... she was not someone he could trust – not with his fragile mind.

He heard the sheets rustling and knew she was coming to him. He braced himself, willing the primal fear that shone in his eyes to fade.

"Something like that." She purred, standing just behind him, her arms coming around his chest. And her head – eyes searching – on his neck.

She had not bothered with a robe.

Blessed exhaled, and stepping out of her arms, he said, "We are going to church."

Like she hadn’t heard him, she followed, pulling him to herself again. “Really?” She placed a kiss to his cheek. “Church?”

“Yes. Church.” Blessed shrugged, untangling himself as he did. "Prepare here. I'll use the guest room."

He turned away from her, walking steadily – well, steadily enough given the pounding in his chest.

Benson palmed his head discreetly. He had forgotten it was Easter Sunday. That explained the banners. How did I not remember?

He swallowed.

Beside him, Genevieve was absent – for the first time in weeks. Her vendetta with churches still boiling hot.

Pastor Kenneth Ashwood - Founder of the Life and Light Ministries worldwide and CEO of Ashwood Industries - stood on the other end of the flat screen TV, preaching on the significance of the day. No wonder the church was packed. The man was well loved. Even his digital presence was revered.

Blessed did not share the infatuation. He knew Kenneth the way he knew men like himself - men that had so much power and influence it was often so easy to look at them and never really see them... never really see the pain... the emptiness... the questions.

He came to Life and Light's London branch, because when he looked at the Shepherd, he saw a man that was much like himself.

He came because he believed… but was still lost in so much. He came because he understood the difference between what he had and what their faith promised.

That was why he came... to wait and watch, to see if the God Ashwood preached about endlessly, could restore what was missing.

And if He did… If He helped Kenneth Ashwood. Then Blessed would believe was hope for him yet.

Until then, he would come, listen... watch, and go back to what he knew.

It was wrong to put so much on another man - an unsuspecting one at that. But he did not care.

Blessed watched the man on screen. A man he had never met. Yet a man whose own transformation would push him to strive for this change that everybody spoke about.

He did not know for sure what he was watching for; what the change would seem like. But he knew what should not be there - the emptiness. The pain. The blankness. Eyes that told of decades of suppression... a suppression worse than his own even.

They were a kindred. And when one found the light, the other, still watching, would retrace his footsteps. That was what Blessed believed. It was all he could bring himself to believe. Time would tell if it was enough.

Hello there,

Blessed… I don’t like him as much as I did Valery, but then… I’m biased.

However… the part with him putting pressure on a Pastor he has never even met. Wow. I wonder if that really happens… if people share this mindset.

What do you think?

Leave a comment

I still won’t comment on Blessed’s past or the Shard title… not till the end… but I’d love to hear your thoughts though, so feel free to comment.

Before we go…

Intercession Prompt.

Let’s pray for… the Numb. Let us pray for everyone who has to bury what they’ve gone through down below. For everyone who functions so perfectly, you’d never know the wounds they carry.

We numb pain… we numb wounds…

In medicine, it is neccessary.

But in real life - it stand against the Gospel. Because Jesus died so we would live… not Numb.

So let us pray… for the Numb. Believers first.

Then unbelievers.

Let’s pray that they will know the Healer and Comforter.

In Jesus name. Amen.

Let’s pray for us… in any way we are Numb. Any wound that is still buried and unhealed, let’s pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal and heal.

Jesus died so we would live. John 3: 16. Not Numb.

For In Jesus name we have prayed. Amen.

Read Part 1. Here.

At last… we part❤️

Thanks for reading - God loves you and so do I.

Note:

‘Pause Moment.’ is scheduled for tonight - this is where we dwell with our Father.

Our letter come tomorrow morning.

And the story continues come afternoon.

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Book 1 - Nothing starts here.

Please… the series is paired with our daily devotionals, focused on intentional fellowship with Abba. See the post On Introductions… and On stories.

Before you start… pause, pray… lean into the Spirit in you… pray in the Spirit.

Book 2 - Numb.

Part 1.

Blessed had once believed in love. Deep down, he probably still did. But that little word had cost him his pride once, and he had decided - never again.

Yet, he had deluded himself. Because how do you say never when you never said yes to begin with? How do you stop something that you had no power to start?

Blessed sighed.

His office - a room that screamed affluence in ways that didn’t need emphasis, sat empty.

He had done a general briefing only an hour ago. And a ward round before that. He did not see patients, so until his next surgery he was free. Free to continue his research work - as he had been doing. Yet his fingers did not reach for the keyboard of his laptop.

Instead, Blessed sat, leaning back as he watched CCTV. An astute listener, he traced her voice in the theatre room. Ever firm. Ever confident. Just as it had been the day she’d torn his heart apart.

“Love? No. Marry you? Yes.”

He winced. Because it hurt. And he did not want it to hurt.

He was 18 years her senior. Her employer. A man with awards that filled shelves. He had hospitals in 6 different countries, totalling to 25 different branches. He made...

Blessed sighed... again. None of it changed how he truly felt. And he did not like that.

Because the universe understood he needed a distraction, his phone rang.

One... two... muting the CCTV footage, he picked the call.

“Mother.”

“Blessed.” Came his mother’s voice, firm and confident – just like Valery’s. It was no coincidence of course. “I have arranged a date for you. Be there.”

He did not try for a response. He knew his mother.

The call ended.

Blessed stood. Two women he loved. Both cold and calculating.

He moved to his window, overlooking the streets of London. The streets that had made him. He was not a rags to riches case. He was a riches to riches case. But riches did not make boys into men. Experience did. Leaving the shelter of the family name did.

So the streets had made him. And he would be forever grateful to them. They were warm - these streets. Full of life and hope and expectation. Brimming even with danger. But it was warm. A contrast to his own life.

Blessed; 12 years old.

Blessed stood on the staircase of their family mansion.

He did not flinch as loud thuds rang through the house. Nor did he cry out as screams followed. He knew each sound.

A thud meant someone had been thrown. A sharp sound meant someone was being whipped. A loud scream meant someone was bleeding.

There were many sounds. And he had catalogued them all.

He could not go up there and save that someone. He could not. He was not as brave as his brother Benedict, who had always gone to play rescuer. He was not.

Benedict was in military school... in Nigeria. Not a school that befitted their family. But a school that suited rebels.

He did not intend to follow. So he rebelled quietly - by not paying a deaf ear. By listening as that someone cried. By knowing why when day broke, he was left with a shell of a mother.

That was all he could do... for now.

Blessed; Present day.

“My mother arranged this.” He said as greeting.

The woman looked up. “She did. But we’re here.”

Blessed took off his coat. “We are.”

He sat like a man who had scheduled the meeting on his calendar then filed it away like it did not bother him... because well, he had. “Why did you come?”

She leaned back, eyes the colour of the night, holding his. “Your mother and mine are friends. A marriage would be beneficial.”

Blessed nodded.

She raised a brow. “You?”

“My mother asked.”

She laughed, a low thing. “You do not seem like a momma’s boy Dr Blessed.”

He smiled. “Looks can be deceiving.”

She tilted her head, studying him again.

Blessed watched her too. The woman - Genevieve Johnson, looked good enough. Her family was indeed a good match. She would not bore him intellectually. But... he was not interested. Yet, he would not end things. Because... his mother had asked.

“You are not a momma’s boy.” She said decisively, and the exchange of a question mark for a full stop piqued his interest.

He adjusted himself, angling his body for comfort. “I’m not?”

“No.” She said, eyes glinting. “Momma’s boys do what they do cus’ they love their momma’s. You... you’re not doing this cus’ you love your momma.”

Blessed laughed. “Then why am I here?”

She sat up. “That’s the million dollar question doc.” She raises her right hand, eyes still locked on him. “That’s what I want to know.”

The waiter arrived. “Ma. Sir.”

They ordered. Simple meals. Easy to make. Easy to package.

The waiter walked away.

Blessed took his phone out, his fingers moving to answer a few messages. She wasn’t bothered. Her gaze moved from him to the door, her brows going up as she watched the newcomers.

Blessed didn’t turn. But his nose – the traitor picked the new scent instantly, halting his train of thought.

Genevieve sighed out a ‘Damn. She’s hot.’

But he did not look to his date. Because he knew that scent. It was Valery’s signature. A perfume she had made by herself and restocked for herself. Because she was... her.

He turned then.

Their gazes met.

He did not hope to see hurt. Or shock. Because he knew her.

Valery looked him in the eye, glanced at the woman with him, smiled, and faced the man she had come in with.

Blessed frowned. Not because of her. But because of the man she was with. That was... Obinna Ebuka. His patient. Their patient.

Blessed trailed them with his eyes.

Genevieve scoffed. “Ah. Now that woman you love.”

He faced her. “I love my mother.”

“I did not say you didn’t.” She responded. “Just that you do not act out of that love. Not anymore. Probably not for a long time?” She looked to Valery. “But that one... that one you are still expressive with.” She eyed him. “How much longer until that ends though?”

Blessed frowned. “What does that mean?”

She smiled – that mocking type. “I’ll tell you on our next date.”

Blessed did not react. He understood women like her. The dress - a tight net thing that showed excessive skin had been telling. She did not want a husband. Just a placeholder man. He did not mind. Because they were the same.

Blessed exhaled. “Next time.” He nodded at the Waiter as he arrived.

“I’m not leaving.” She said. “But we won’t talk about you and your obvious issue anymore.”

Blessed reached for his food. “Then what will we do?”

She licked her lips - slow, intentionally. He had noticed she had not worn lipstick when he came in. Women who did not wear lipstick to a date either did not use it at all or used it enough to know when it would be an inconvenience. He noticed her bare lips again, this time offering a half smile.

“We eat.” She said. “Then you show me your office.”

He eyed her. “You want to go to a hospital?”

She chuckled. “No.” She stabbed her pork, placing the fork to her lips, but not biting. “Your home office.”

Blessed laughed as well. He understood.

His gaze moved to Valery Amos one last time. He took her in - a lingering look because he was letting go.

He would always love her. Just like he would always love his mother. But like Genevieve had shockingly observed, he had trumped the emotion down with her. Just as he would do with Valery.

He looked to Genevieve. This one would help him.

Hihi❤️

New here? Then you definitely need to go to the very first posts - get a feel of things.

Been here a while? Yippiiee… sooo… Blessed. No words. No nothing. Let’s just keep going.

But… you… I want to hear your thoughts… pretty pleaseeee😊

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This is where we part ways, but first… one thing - Numb. What does that even mean? What is Numb?

Thanks for reading❤️

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Bye❤️ Part 2 comes tomorrow. Love you… but God loves you more❤️🙏

The Shard series consists of 5 twins and 1 child.

Nothing and Numb.

Neither and Need.

Nether and Noth.

N... and N.…

N…. and Known.

Alive.

…

We start Book 2 today…

Looking at Dr Blessed.

The Shards series believes that one message can be told through 11 voices and short stories.

Each short story… less than 8 parts in each, gives glimpses of the people, showing actual jagged shards in the whole image.

About Shards 2 - Numb

Like Nothing… we are going to live in Blessed’s head. We see the world as he does. And look at his world view.

That’s the plan.

New here?

You can start from the post On Introductions... here. Then… On stories… Then… Part 1… Then Part 2… Then… Part 3…. Then Part 4…. Then Part 5… Then Part 6…

One leg forward.

One in the middle.

So easily, I inch back… so easily I redraw.

One leg still forward…

Yet I’ve gone back.

Am I me?

Where am I?

Why does it seem like I am standing but not standing?

There’s a girl I know.

There’s another I’m knowing.

Am I her or is she me?

Mistakes. Mistakes.

Pain. Pain.

Fall. Rise. Fall again.

Somewhere in between, I’m still… me.

Somehow… I’m not.

Me… she… her?

Or… HIS?

I haven’t come here in a while.

I didn’t want to.

Kinda still don’t want to.

But then… this space is for this - for the real parts of me… and Him… and us.

So here I am.

Just a girl. With questions and doubts. Trying to accept that maybe… I’m not me… or her. Maybe I’m just His.

Becoming… it is not linear. Nor is it simple.

There are moments such as this, when you stand at a crossroad, after dipping your feet back in the mud, and wonder… who you are.

The sinner or the saint.

It’s especially trying when it seems your personalities shift with time.

By day, the saint. Serving, giving, trying. It flows so naturally it makes you question - what? How am I so ‘spiritual’ right now? You open your mouth and you talk like the saint. You act like the saint.

Funny - you aren’t pretending. You are being very real. And very honest.

But when the world goes quiet… its like the sinner comes back.

Growth isn’t linear. This isn’t a letter about that.

This is about identity… about how who we are (while becoming) can sometimes blur.

Is it hypocrisy? Is it falsity? Is it a lie?

That’s my question.

And here’s what I am learning - it is not.

It is proof.

Once upon a time, there would have been no struggle… no difference. Now there is.

You are not who you used to be. But you are not yet ‘you’. You are not yet the version of you that has become.

I am not yet me. I am not yet Bliss. I am not yet Chibuchi. I am becoming her.

I will change. I will struggle. I will fall and rise. That is all in the process of becoming.

My job is to remember even then that I am His. All else changes.

Becoming requires change.

But that’s why who I am is not a girl who still struggles or sins… not a girl who is hurt or angry… not a girl who serves or helps… who I am is His. His beloved.

When nothing else makes sense… wehn it feels like the very ground is shifting.

I am His.

And that… that is how we become.

Is it easy to remember or do?

Is it easy to not lose yourself in the old or find yourself competing with the new?

Is it easy to not drown in the ‘now’?

NO.

But that’s the good fight.

It’s not linear. Not perfect. But… it is real. It costs. It hurts. It breaks. It matters.

I’ve been off a while. But God willing - tomorrow we continue.

Not perfectly. Just honestly.

God’s got me… and you. And us.

We are His.

All His.

Only His.

First His.

That is what matters. That is it.

Who you are is His. Who I am is His.

I am becoming… me.

But I have always been His. I will always be His.

Always.

Struggling? Have questions? Doubts?

You’re not alone.

But let’s keep on.

Our Bridegroom is coming… let’s keep on…

Break when you must. Fall. Rise again.

Let Him work.

Even though it hurts. Even though it is beyond you… us.

We choose Him. We choose this. We choose Love. Because He chose us first.

Know someone who needs this?

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Know someone who would love this space?

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Want to join the family?

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If you’ve been here a while you know that we’re running a short story series, every weekday that explores the same themes as our Bible study.

11 stories. 11 characters. One heart. One truth.

Tomorrow… sorry - soon we will move to Book 2. But first…

Nothing - Shard 1 in the Shards series, showed us Valery Amos. A young woman whose world is the definition of ‘standard’. She has what people want. She has the money. The connections. The rooms. She is even a believer. So what then is the problem?

She has everything, but she has nothing.

That doesn’t seem to make sense - right?

That’s why we’re pausing to explore ‘Nothing.’ The series is ready. I’m done with the first 9 books. The last two are currently in work. I can share at once. But… it won’t serve its purpose if I do it that way. So… let’s pause.

If you are new here… welcome…

You can start from the post On Introductions... here. Then… On stories… Then… Part 1… Then Part 2… Then… Part 3…. Then Part 4…. Then Part 5… Then Part 6…

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The Shards series is a journey. Each Shard is a land of its own. With its own climate and voice. And the story… it is meant to take us on our own journey. Working hand in hand with our daily study - To the Lord’s Beloved, it is focused on the Gospel and the Life Jesus died for us to have.

You see, I am writing this now… just as I am still learning it. You - you may read it much later from now. But that’s the thing. It’s not about the timing. It’s about the purpose - to Know God… to Love God, to keep knowing Him. Not as a religous practice. But as a true relationship.

Now… if you want to join, don’t feed the pressure that may come from seeing the number of articles. I do that. I am learning to undo that. Pray. Pick one. Read. Let Him be.

This… it is all for Him. All for Us - the King and His Bride.

Pause. Breathe… pray.

Shards.

Nothing.

What is this Nothing?

Is it emotional detachment? Is it satisfaction with life?

The thing is Valery did not sin… or do anything bad. She lived didn’t she? And Nancy died.

But John 3:16 tells us of Life eternal. It tells us we live on even after we close our eyes in this world. But the whole of eternal Life is not just in the beyond. It is in every moment and every choice.

God is Life. And God is Love. (Read the whole story and the highlighted Scriptures.)

If we say we have the Life Christ gives, we have Him. And He… is Love.

Nothing… it is an existence of one who is saved, but who does not live as Life eternal describes. Eternal Life is a life of love. Love of God. Love for God. Love for man. Love. Not butterflies and feelings. But the Love that asks a man to pray and fast and surrender. To give and sacrifice and obey.

The Scripture is, “If you love Me, obey my commands.”

The Scripture is, “Peter do you love Me?…” Before… “Feed My sheep.”

The activities and the obedience and ghe doings - everything… is nothing. without love. 1 Corinthians 13.

That is Nothing.

Having everything… or seemingly everything, without Love. It is Nothing.

Let’s pause here huh? Pray. Talk to the Spirit in you.

“My Lover…”

Does this fit a description of you - a version of you or someone you know? This is not to shame. As of now - as I write this, there are versions of me lost in each Shard world.

This is a call to awareness first… of Love and Life.

This… is a drive back to His feet. For relationship. Only relationship.

It’s not a linear thing. It starts with choosing Him. Choosing study. And prayer. And being honest with Him. And giving Him room to reach you. To reach us.

I’ll stop here now.

But this is a call.

And this is why this space exists. Not for perfection, but so I can write my journey in real time - His letters and my truth, and so every heart like mine - heavy, lost, wanting - can find a space to meet Him.

The journey of the Shards… each world we are visiting, don’t start it if you do not want to want a real relationship with God. Don’t start it if you expect beautiful literature. Don’t start it if you just want a good read - it will bore you. But maybe… you are searching for something… then start. Because… that’s why I am writing. Because I am searching and He tells me He is the One I am looking for. This is a journey of Him… to Him… with Him… by Him.

I started this subatck wanting subscribers. Right now - 19th July 2026, I have 11, of which my family and friends - people who don’t even read - make up the bulk. They are there as witness. Because He says so.

For the others… He says ‘trust’. He says I should understand that this isn’t about numbers or platform, but Him.

I won’t lie and tell you it’s easy. But I remember something… and that something is enough. Read… my something here.

Are you here and your heart recognizes my own? Welcome❤️

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I write my truth so He will be seen and known. And so I can remember how my truth became Him.

This is the heart behind this space. Weigh it.

Let’s pray…

“Father, we have seen ‘Nothing.’ I won’t tell you if I am in ‘Nothing’ or not. But You know. I want what Christ died to give me. I want the whole thing. You. Me. Us. Forever. Eternally. In Jesus Name. Amen.”

Say your own prayer.

…

Read the verses.

…

Get a journal. Text yourself on Whatsapp. Or write in a Notes app/Journal app/Word… Talk to Him.

Thank you for reading. You are loved❤️

John 3:16.

Bible study... the Word... is God. God is revealed in Scripture, through Scripture.

That's why we are here.

For the next few days... we will look at our anchor Scripture... and look at God, at His revealed nature.

Let's pray...

"Daddy, I want to love You. Not who I think You are. But who You really are. Please Father... reveal Yourself to me, and let my heart receive You. Thank You... my Love. In Jesus name. Amen."

John 3:16 NIV

[16] For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

…

(Sourced from the Youversion Bible.)

Who is God?

God is Love.

In Valery Amos' words (see part 6 of Nothing - book 1 in our story series (the story is a big part of this journey - you can start it here).. love is woven everywhere in Scripture. And while for her that was a frustrating thing to know. For us - it is a great discovery.

Why?

Because the Word is God.

And through each book of Bible... through every character, love is seen and revealed.

We often downplay this... but God is Love.

He does not just love us. He is Love.

His nature... it is Love.

When He says He loves us, it is normal for Him. As normal as breathing. It is who He is.

We can trust His Love because His Love is not lying.

If His Love is a lie... then He is not Him. Because who He is, is Love.

He is intentional. Genesis chapter 1 is proof of this.

His Love is intentional. The whole Bible is proof of this.

His Love is real. Jesus Christ is proof of this.

He is Love.

He is real, intentional, genuine... He is patient, kind, (1 Cor chapter 13)

It is not an assumption or theory. It is not even a fact. It is the Truth. Older than time itself... Love is.

Outliving time, Love is.

Love is eternal. (1 Cor 13:13)

God is eternal.

Who is God?

He is the One who was, is and will be. He is Love.

Pause:

Sit with this.

If you know who someone is, you know what that person can and can't do... you trust that person... you can relate with that person, based on what you know - whether good or bad.

We are pushing for a relationship with God. It starts with one truth - who is He?

He is Love.

His nature as Love is the reason for the whole Bible.

Love is the reason. Love is the 'why'. Because Love is Him.

Yes.

Worship prompt:

Adore Him. This One who is Love. Adore Him.

Everything we have, everything we are... it is because of who He is.

10 minutes.

God is Love. And God Loves you.

Thank you for reading❤️ You are loved❤️

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Before you start…

Deep breath… in… out.

Say an honest prayer.

Book I - Nothing.

Part 6.

The days passed the way days did. Valery was not alright.

She had read all she could about... love and life and God... and the faith she had confessed all her life.

It did not make sense.

Love is patient... love is kind... love does not envy.

If I spoke in all the tongues, but did not have love... clanging cymbal.

For God so loved...

If any man says he loves God but does not love his brother...

The Scriptures were endless; it would seem woven everywhere in the Bible, there was something about... love.

In Ruth, where the Moabites left her home and people to follow her mother- in- law... a choice Valery would never understand.

In Genesis... everywhere.

In Exodus, where Moses cried for mercy for the sinful Israelites.

In... Esther.

In... Hosea!

She would not even get started on the New Testament.

She had read these texts before. She had... but... it was different now. It was choking her... showing her what she did not want to see.

Valery fisted her hands then released them, her breaths coming out in puffs as she closed the many Bibles.

Her 8.50 alarm rang out. Normally, by then... she was in her car. But she had not even had her bath.

She scrambled up – the haste a foreign thing for her. She was never in a haste... because she was never not prepared!

The moment she entered the hospital, she marched to Nancy’s room.

The people cleared from her way, watching her with raised eyebrows. Will this rage become a usual thing now?

Valery... could not even care.

She stepped into the room, her tone firm as she said, “You say love is life. And if I don’t believe in love? Does that mean I am dead?” She stepped forward. “I’m saved. I believe. I have a great life. If I don’t believe... the world has not ended - so stop looking at me like it has!”

Nancy made that exact face, her gaze so... pitiful.

Valery groaned. “That is it! Enough of that – I’m not the one whose dying! I’m healthy and well... you are the one who’s in a hospital bed. You tell me your ‘love is life’, but you’re dying for God sake!”

Nancy only shook her head.

It was her husband that answered, standing too, with his jaw set. “You live in facts Dr Amos. You live in order and calculation. You do not like to lose control.” He looked her over once, the anger fading just a fraction as he considered her obvious frustration. But he did not stop. “It is not that you do not believe in love,” He paused. “It is that you have already written love off.”

“I...” Valery bristled, hating that she stammered now – because of them! “Why shouldn’t I?” She stepped forward, gesturing as she bit out, “What good does it do to live like this - lost to myself?”

Nancy shook her head, tears pouring, as she asked, voice low, “What good does it do to not live at all – missing the whole essence?”

Valery froze. She froze – the unthinkable- Dr Valery Amos froze in place.

But it did not last.

“And you are living?” She asked back. “You who acts like a mad woman!”

“I live Love. I lived loved. I love Life..” Nancy said, voice thick. “If I died today, I would be content, because I did not live afraid. I did not choose calculated survival and programmed existence. I chose Life. I lived Love. If I die, I die content.”

She paused, taking Valery in, as her husband came to her, sitting by her side, his hand around her. “But what about you – when it comes down to it, will you be content? When you look back, will you not regret never truly living, only ever existing?”

Valery did not answer. She could not.

Why was she even there? What did it matter if they lived like mentally ill people? Why did she care if Scripture pointed to this madness they all called ‘love’? She was Valery Amos – an achieved medical practitioner.. she owed the world nothing... there was nothing forcing her to do anything... Why do I feel that is the problem?

Why did she wonder what it would be... to be lost to... love? To be kind, not self seeking, to choose others? To not be loud... but true. To show up fully. To... be like the One who is Love... to be... His own? Why do I want that?

Valery swallowed, her bag still on her back as she did the routine check-up. There was no point leaving only to return. She would not leave. She would not run.

23 minutes later, as she moved to leave the room while Nancy dozed off, snoring softly, her husband – his arms still wrapped around her - said, “A life well lived is a life worth living. A life worth living, is a life worth the risks, the sacrifices, the pain. But how will you ever have that life when you curate an existence that asks nothing of you?”

Valery wanted to argue. Wanted to protest. But she did not. She just fled, stuffing their words down below.

She went back to her life... her reality that they claimed was not life.

She was... unbothered...

What a lie.

It was six months later, on the day she drew the white bedsheet over Mrs Nancy Ebuka’s head... that she admitted it.

Around her corpse, her family and friends remained, present and loud - even in death.

As Valery looked around, she felt a weight unlike anything she had ever felt before. Because for once... for once she saw her truth and not the facts that protected her.

Nancy Emeka was dead, but... she had lived. She had lived a life. She had not existed... she had loved. She had not survived... she had thrived. She had laughed. She had sung. She had not calculated or programmed. She had not used faith as a check book. She had lived.

Valery moved on auto. She walked out, far away from everything and everyone. Because she saw for once, that she was not living. She had never lived. She had existed. She was existing. Like... Professor Kalian.

She stood still, midway between both women’s former rooms. They were both... gone. Both had believed in the Christ– she knew that. But only one truly embraced Him.

Standing there, Valery knew her truth. If she died as she was, her family would weep, but they would weep for the idea of her, and not her. Because they would have never known her... because she had never let herself be known.

Her colleagues, friends... they would mourn a person, but only for what she brought to the table, not for who she was.

Blessed... he would mourn the woman he loved who had not believed in love.

If she died, it would not be like Nancy – not content. Not with a legacy. If she died, it would be like Professor Kalian... like she had never lived. Because she would have not. She would have built... programmed... worked... existed... created much, done many things, yet... it would have be – nothing. Because... she had not lived.

She would have gone her whole life never knowing this. She would have been blissfully ignorant in the facade that was her life. But she met Nancy... And Nancy Ebuka wrecked her life... forever.

The end... of Nothing.

Ahhh… we are done with Nothing😁

How are we?

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Nothing… is book I. Nothing opens the series. Next up is… Numb.

Each story in the series is a shard in one glass mirror… a broken mirror, that can be whole - again.

And we’re on the journey… to beholding that wholeness. Not just for the characters, but for us - ghe readers.

John 3: 16. This is the Scripture. This is the whole.

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Book 2 starts Monday❤️

Snippet.

Book 2

Numb.

Blessed had once believed in love. Deep down, he probably still did. But that little word had cost him his pride once, and he had decided - never again.

Yet, he had deluded himself. Because how do you say never when you never said yes to begin with? How do you stop something that you had no power to start?

Blessed sighed

His office…

…

…

…

Till Monday❤️

Thank you for reading. You are loved❤️

Before you begin…

Take a deep breath. Exhale. Be… still.

“Holy Spirit… let’s read.”

Book I - Nothing.

Part 5.

Valery... decided to not seek. She was not in any place to go on a goose chase. She believed. She was okay. She was... her. Nothing else mattered.

The family call was happening. Her mic was mute. The speaker too.

Sitting in front of her was her laptop. A documentary played on screen. She watched it absently.

In her lap sat a bowl – fruit salad.

She ate without pause, her mind barely here nor there.

The call ended. The day ended. She knelt for prayer. Then... she slept.

The days that followed were normal. Familiar. She settled into them with ease.

Until the day Professor Kalian died.

Death did not bother Valery. It had never really bothered her before. But leaving the pristine room where the older woman’s body was covered – a room filled with... nothing. And entering Nancy Ebuka’s... the contrast hit her. It was like moving from a land of death... to one full of life.

It was visiting hour. There were people in the room. Others waiting outside.

Valery worked discreetly. She did not need to send them out. Usually, she would have, but she was in no mood to communicate.

She was... done...

Her hands placing the stethoscope back when Nancy held her gaze, her voice frail, yet sure... as she said, “Love is Life.”

Valery blinked, her limbs trembling as she walked away.

She knew... she knew...

It was not because the air had left Professor Kalian’s lungs that her world seemed... empty. It was because... her world had been empty.

She walked lost, ignoring those who tried to get her attention as the entered the room. B10.

She locked it.

Then looked around.

Books – non fiction, classic literature, self help – hung on shelves. The curtains were drawn close, as always. Framed certificates hung on the walls.

The body was still there.

Valery stepped forward. She stared, taking in every detail, as she remembered Nancy’s whispered, ‘Love is Life.’

She left the room like she came in, moving to her office, her hands seeking out her phone as she shut it.

She went to Safari. Then typed, ‘What is Love?’

To Google Chrome, she typed, ‘What is Life?’

To her wandering heart... she whispered, even before reading the resources. “Life is Love. Love is Life.”

Like a bad dream... two Scriptures – verses she had been saying all her life – flashed.

1 John 4: 16.

She quoted it from memory. “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.”

And... John 14:6.

“Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

She trembled, dropping the phone without even reading, as she muttered, “Life is Love... Love is Life... God is Love... God is Life...” She expelled a shaky breath. “All who live in Love, live in God. All who live in Love... live in Life.

She sagged on her chair the depth of her own realization, hitting her.

“Love is Life” She whispered. “Then... what is a life without love?”

There was no answer. There was... nothing.

There was… nothing.

That’s the book title.

That’s her reality - nothing.

I have lived this. This… detachment that almost looks normal.

A love for statistics and numbers… and logic.

I felt it was better - easier.

I saw too much of the world (at 13 ni🤣😭) and truthfully tried to hold… nothing, so I wouldn’t be hurt.

I prioritized my grades. My schooling. The checkpoints. But there was no essence.

Now… I am realizing…. In Love, I have to hold - not everything, just… Him.

I don’t know if you relate to this. Or know someone who does.

Share

But Jesus Christ died to give Life.

Not… nothing. Not… half. Not… survival. Life. A full Life.

So… we are still on this… we want to live, we want to truly live.

We are studying the Word, we are looking at the story, and we’re sitting at our Lover’s feet, with one prayer - “You who has begun this good work - perfect it. I want to Live like Jesus died for me to Live. Nothing less. Nothing else. In Jesus name. Amen.”

Nothing ends tomorrow.

Book 2 - Numb; from another characters POV, begins tomorrow.

All the books in this series are telling one story, with one message - Life.

I see myself in each shard really… but I am looking to see myself as whole… no longer a shard.

Is that you too?

You’re in the right place. Join the family.

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Thank you for reading❤️ You are loved. Till morrow🙏